The challenges I thought I would confront now seem miniature compared to the actual hurdles that I face every day. I don't want to be too specific out of respect for those who run my project but I'm definitely feeling the plight of the idealistic "20's something female college student turned international volunteer". Coming into this experience, I had a vision. I saw myself making an impact (even if it were in the most simple way) on the lives of those I taught and interacted with. I imagined myself giving to a community of those in need and eventually reaping the benefit of knowing that I somehow made a change. Now, if you asked me what exactly it was that I thought I was going to change, well... I probably wouldn't have been able to give you a clear answer but as I've recently learned, I wasn't alone in my idealistic visions.
After coming here and settling into a routine, I quickly began to see that I in fact wasn't (in the words of my good friend Alex) going to "save Africa". I know that is a pathetic realization to come to but look at it this way: one or two people cannot stand up to a thousand years of culture. One of the biggest frustrations I have is dealing with the Ghanaian (and pretty much non-western) practice of corporal punishment. I hate it. In fact, I think that beating kids with sticks is probably the worst form of discipline because it simply encourages the victim to continue the cycle when they get older. It also makes it impossible for any non-Ghanaian teachers/volunteers to discipline children because come on, how can a shout or a command to "sit in the corner" hold any weight to the imminent threat of being lashed across the face with a stick?
And it's not like I can just tell the teacher to stop. Oh hey, do you think you can stop disciplining the kids the only way you know (and the only way it has been done in Ghanaian culture) in favor for my more advanced western methods?
The last thing I want to do is to tell people that they're doing their job wrong. But like I said before, how can you stand up to a cultural tradition in the name of doing what you think is right?
My other frustration resides is the feeling that no matter what I do, most will be forgotten once I leave. Sure, the children might be having a blast coming to school to do epic art projects and practicing silly yoga poses but in all actuality, where is the evidence of the techniques passed on by all the previous volunteers? Why can the kids recite the alphabet but become confused when I ask them to identify the letter "p"? Why do I feel like I'm working from scratch?
I understand that the lack of uniformity and follow through with the lesson plan is due to the sporadic nature of the "volunteer" and I'm not accusing those who came before me as ineffective, but without strong communication and concrete direction, every volunteer who comes after me will feel as in the dark as I did. And this doesn't just go for my project but with the majority of volunteering programs in countries across the globe.
I came to a realization though, after feeling incredibly conflicted about this for weeks. For even though I might not be making much of an impact on the kids, the lessons I learn from this experience are really what it is all about. As selfish as it sounds, my purpose for being here was never (and could never have been) about changing the lives of others but about changing my own.
It's about growth and Ghana.
1 comment:
I think you touch very clearly on what many volunteers, community organizers, social activists feel regularly; how do you make change within a system that doesn’t want to change. Of course, that frustration is felt in a very different way when the culture you are working in is not your own, and you have to add to that struggle the balance of adding something positive without imposing your own system of thought.
I think it speaks to your own level of awareness that you are even able to see these struggles. Keep being open to change and you will also create it.
Post a Comment