4th Post: Catching Up

So I must apologize for my laziness (note the 20 day gap) and for leaving some people hanging at my last entry.

I am actually doing very well.

Most of the frustrations I expressed in the previous post have subsided and I have begun to accept my way of life here. Many changes will soon be upon me however. First of all, my volunteering partner and good friend Larissa will be heading back to Sydney on November 12 and so I will find myself teaching without another volunteer until at least January. This prospect makes me a little nervous but I think it will only intensify my experience here--force me to focus more on the teaching aspect and whatnot. Second, my other good friend and traveling buddy Emily (who teaches at another school) will soon be leaving not long after Larissa so if I don't make some more friends soon, my social life looks as if it might subside a little! That's not to say that I haven't made more friends--simply put, Larissa and Emily have been my confidants. I'm really going to miss them.

Another upcoming event is my week long trip to Togo and Benin! I'll be leaving this coming Saturday with my friend Tom (ok, I lied, I do have a social life) and we will make our way east through Ghana into Togo and then to Benin. I'm really excited at the idea of visiting some other African countries (I didn't really consider traveling around the continent) and even more so at the prospect of trying to pull some French out of my brain (both countries are french speaking). Luckily, Tom is french so I guess I don't have to worry too much about remembering the few bits of french I learned in high school. We'll see how I do!

Anyways, the weather here is only getting hotter as the dry season approaches and I can't help but think that maybe I'm actually losing tolerance to the heat (it just LEACHES the energy out of you!). I mean, shouldn't it be getting colder?? You know, like winter time? Christmas? I have to say though, it's definitely nice not having to worry about bringing a jacket with me everywhere!

Hm... anyways, there's not much more to be said other than that I still have yet to embark on ANY of my planned projects (including additions to this blog) and that I should probably stop taking so many naps. Like I said, the heat just knocks me out!

Hope all is well with everyone at their respective homes.

Love,
Kristina

3rd Post: What It's All About

I'm not exactly sure how to start this as nothing monumental has happened, today isn't any sort of landmark date and I don't have any strong themes that I'd like to convey. That's not to say that life here at Lotus is stagnant, far from it. In fact, my life seems to be in a constant state of flux.

The challenges I thought I would confront now seem miniature compared to the actual hurdles that I face every day. I don't want to be too specific out of respect for those who run my project but I'm definitely feeling the plight of the idealistic "20's something female college student turned international volunteer". Coming into this experience, I had a vision. I saw myself making an impact (even if it were in the most simple way) on the lives of those I taught and interacted with. I imagined myself giving to a community of those in need and eventually reaping the benefit of knowing that I somehow made a change. Now, if you asked me what exactly it was that I thought I was going to change, well... I probably wouldn't have been able to give you a clear answer but as I've recently learned, I wasn't alone in my idealistic visions.

After coming here and settling into a routine, I quickly began to see that I in fact wasn't (in the words of my good friend Alex) going to "save Africa". I know that is a pathetic realization to come to but look at it this way: one or two people cannot stand up to a thousand years of culture. One of the biggest frustrations I have is dealing with the Ghanaian (and pretty much non-western) practice of corporal punishment. I hate it. In fact, I think that beating kids with sticks is probably the worst form of discipline because it simply encourages the victim to continue the cycle when they get older. It also makes it impossible for any non-Ghanaian teachers/volunteers to discipline children because come on, how can a shout or a command to "sit in the corner" hold any weight to the imminent threat of being lashed across the face with a stick?

And it's not like I can just tell the teacher to stop. Oh hey, do you think you can stop disciplining the kids the only way you know (and the only way it has been done in Ghanaian culture) in favor for my more advanced western methods?

The last thing I want to do is to tell people that they're doing their job wrong. But like I said before, how can you stand up to a cultural tradition in the name of doing what you think is right?

My other frustration resides is the feeling that no matter what I do, most will be forgotten once I leave. Sure, the children might be having a blast coming to school to do epic art projects and practicing silly yoga poses but in all actuality, where is the evidence of the techniques passed on by all the previous volunteers? Why can the kids recite the alphabet but become confused when I ask them to identify the letter "p"? Why do I feel like I'm working from scratch?

I understand that the lack of uniformity and follow through with the lesson plan is due to the sporadic nature of the "volunteer" and I'm not accusing those who came before me as ineffective, but without strong communication and concrete direction, every volunteer who comes after me will feel as in the dark as I did. And this doesn't just go for my project but with the majority of volunteering programs in countries across the globe.

I came to a realization though, after feeling incredibly conflicted about this for weeks. For even though I might not be making much of an impact on the kids, the lessons I learn from this experience are really what it is all about. As selfish as it sounds, my purpose for being here was never (and could never have been) about changing the lives of others but about changing my own.

It's about growth and Ghana.